• Blog
• June 19, 2024

Embracing Self-Discovery in Coaching

 

In our younger days when decisions were made for us, taking instructions was a natural way of learning.  We grew and matured along the way.  Instructions were usually well intentioned.  However, the outcome did not necessarily result in satisfaction and fulfilment. 

A coach has to avoid giving advice to guide the coachee into a particular path of action.  The agenda of each conversation belongs to the coachee.  The decision to act also rests on him/her.  Accountability and ownership is very clear.

How does the coachee then, know what to do ?   Many subscribed to coaching sessions with the expectation of getting some help in the form of having specific advice.  “Are you not supposed to guide and help me ?”  is a very common remark.   This is why, at the start of any coaching relationship, it is crucial to clarify each other’s roles and obligations.   A clearly worded and signed agreement, will set the correct expectation.

The process of co-creating the solution involves collaboration in a safe space which permits open communication.  There is freedom to explore the issue at a much deeper level because of mutual trust and respect.

Useful coaching questions usually start with ‘What’.  It enables thinking and reflection.  The ‘Why’ question is powerful.  However, it must be asked without the coachee going into defensive mode.  ‘How’ is my favourite.  It redirects the conversation to focus on the solution.  And the ‘When’ question is targeted to challenge in terms of time to act.  Asking the right questions is therefore the key to avoid having a ‘need to tell’. 

During the conversation, the coach can share his/her life experiences.  It may provide some useful insights. Clarity is achieved when the coachee comes to a deeper self awareness of the root issue and is inspired to push forward.

Finally, understanding the personality of the coachee also helps the coach to motivate in a manner befitting the situation and the issue.   

by IAC Masteries Practitioner, Coach Lim Poh Chin, MACC Writer